I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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