So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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