shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
