You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
