just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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