i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
