i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Randomize
