what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
