there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
