I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize