omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
