yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize