If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I think I am morally bankrupt
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
