Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
