so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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