i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
