so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize