Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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