are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I just threw up on my dentist
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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