I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
