So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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