You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Randomize
