Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
