Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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