brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
