Have you finally orgasmed yet?
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
