I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
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