Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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