5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
