hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
