i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
