haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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