i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
