D3 body, D1 cock
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
