I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
