I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
