I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
