Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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