why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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