she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
