Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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