yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize