You're completely useless in the revolution.
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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