My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
