Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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