oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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