THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
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