Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
