i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
