I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
