he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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