Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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