she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Randomize
