why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize