remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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