She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Randomize
