i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
