I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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