Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
