he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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