Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
