Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Randomize
