whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
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