i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
