He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
