I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
