my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize