just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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