oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
