party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize