your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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