THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Drake has all the answers
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
