What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
